Family Counselling
Family counselling helps family members understand the patterns that have developed between them and find more workable ways of relating.
When families become stuck in painful patterns
Families are interconnected systems. When one person is struggling or one relationship changes, the effects can be felt throughout the family.
Difficulties may arise following separation, divorce, repartnering, bereavement, illness, relocation or another significant change. Families may also seek counselling because of repeated conflict, communication problems, differences about parenting, challenges involving adult children or tension within a blended family.
Over time, particular roles and patterns can become established. One person may be treated as the problem, another may try to keep the peace and others may withdraw or take sides. Family members may become so familiar with the pattern that each new disagreement follows a predictable course.
This does not mean that every person is equally responsible for everything that has happened. Nor does family counselling minimise harmful behaviour. It recognises that understanding the interactions between family members can open possibilities that are difficult to see when attention is focused only on one person.
How family counselling can help
I have specialist training in working with families as systems. My approach is informed by Bowen family systems theory, in which I have completed postgraduate training through the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family in Washington, DC.
Family counselling provides a structured and balanced environment in which different perspectives can be heard. The aim is not to force agreement on every issue, but to help family members understand what is happening and identify practical changes that could improve family life.
Depending on your circumstances, family counselling may help family members to:
- identify repeated patterns of conflict, withdrawal or misunderstanding;
- understand how changes affecting one person influence the wider family;
- communicate without immediately blaming or becoming defensive;
- recognise the roles different family members have assumed;
- reduce pressure on children or relatives who feel caught in the middle;
- respond more constructively to differences in values or expectations;
- establish clearer boundaries between generations or households;
- adjust to separation, repartnering or blended-family relationships;
- manage grief, illness, caregiving or another major transition; or
- develop more sustainable ways of resolving future difficulties.
My approach to family counselling
I will usually begin by meeting with relevant family members together so that I can understand the concerns and observe how the family interacts.
I may then meet individually with family members to develop rapport and gain a clearer understanding of each person’s experience. We will come together again to agree on the priorities for counselling and develop a practical plan.
The precise process will depend on the ages of those involved, the relationships between them and the issues being addressed. I will also explain how confidentiality will operate when individual and group sessions are combined.
Family counselling can still be valuable even when not every family member is willing or able to participate. Changes made by one person can sometimes alter the wider pattern and reduce the intensity of conflict.
Creating healthier family relationships
Families rarely change through one person winning an argument or persuading everyone else to see events in exactly the same way.
Change becomes more possible when family members understand the patterns they are part of, communicate more clearly and take responsibility for the choices available to them. Counselling can support that process and help create more respectful, stable and workable relationships.
01.
Next Steps & 15-minute free initial consultation.
Discover if we are a good fit
02.
Book Your Counselling Sessions
I generally find it takes a minimum of six sessions to get the best outcomes with couples.
For this reason, I offer a prepaid discounted rate of $750 incl GST for six consecutive couples counselling sessions.
03.
Results
It isn’t about “fixing” you (because you’re not broken). It’s about understanding your relationship, asking the right questions at the right time and in the right way and seeing new possibilities.
Communication with your other professional advisors.
Sometimes couple counselling clients are working with other professionals (such as lawyers, accountants, or medical professionals) in connection with their relationship issues. If clients authorise me to communicate with their other advisors, I can do so.
Please note,I do not provide clients with any legal advice in our counseling work or otherwise.
What do you do?
I have specialist training in working with families as systems whose members interact in predictable ways. By identifying unhelpful ways of interacting and replacing them with more functional ones, I work with family members to create happier and more harmonious lives. Alongside supporting the family unit, I work with family members on personal growth and development.
My approach to family counselling
I typically initially meet with family members as a group to identify common points of conflict or “hotspots” in the family dynamics. Next, I often have a one on one meeting with each family member to develop rapport and better understand that person’s unique perspectives. After that, we again meet as a group and together develop a counselling plan of action. We then work together to implement that plan in practical, achievable and sustainable ways.
My approach is based on the internationally recognised work of Dr. Murray Bowen, a therapist who developed the Bowen family systems approach to family therapy. I have a post-graduate certification in Bowen family systems, having trained at Dr. Bowen’s Center for the Study of the Family in Washington DC.
